Independent. Mature. Put-together. Disciplined. All expectations placed on me as a first generation oldest daughter.
My family had high expectations of me even before I was born. As a result of those expectations I work every day towards my goals. I maintain decent grades at school, I help my parents translate and understand the culture and I am responsible for my brother’s success and communication in school.
While my parents recognize my academic successes, they don’t always see the work I put into our home.
While trying to build a future for myself, I have to help my parents build their lives because they don’t speak English. I have to explain the process to my parents, while I barely know it myself. I have to find support from teachers and other adults to walk me through the process of looking for colleges, scholarships and other resources to establish my future. Things my parents want to help me with but can’t.
My friends always question why I do things the way I do. Why I can’t take the day off work to hang out, why I care what others think, why I worry so much about grades. “You always do well anyways,” they say.
My academic fulfillment is the only recognition I receive. When my teachers told my parents how much they loved having me in their classes. How independent I was, how disciplined and quiet I was, I almost felt like my parents were accomplishing their goals through me. Goals that were derailed when they had me at a young age. Their high expectations, the result.
I feel as I owe them this much, knowing that they had it so much worse when they were even younger than me. They were just kids and had to be adults, their dreams ripped away from them.
They made the effort of moving to a new country and leaving their family, friends and life as they knew it, all for me and my brother to have better opportunities. Helping them see that someone from their own blood achieve their dreams is my goal.
Being accomplished has always been my goal, but as senior year approaches and college hides right around the corner, knowing that I’ll have to move out leaving my family behind is scary. My family is all I’ve ever known. Though I know I could survive on my own, I don’t know how I’d survive without someone depending on me, without helping someone else.
Resilient. Independent. Committed. Determined. All characteristics honed as a first generation oldest daughter.

Updated March 16, 2024. 8:22pm